A Very Vintage Valentine's Mix + From Vanilla To Red Velvet To Dark Chocolate: I'm Not Talking About Cake

Guess what peeps?

I survived the most recent apocalypse, and though it may seem like I fell head first into the Bermuda Triangle, it's not far from the truth.

I'm right on the bottom corner, in fact. And I'm finding out Island Time is a very real thing.

Today I'm hoping the old saying, "Better late than never" still applies.

Happy Valentine's to all the world's migrating Love Birds!

Here's a mix to rock with your sweetie, or while you primp and powder.

Just for good measure, I didn't leave the Valentine's Day Massacre-istas out:

Skip the last song if your fire burns for your fella', or femme fatale,

'cause the last one is reserved for the furious foes of this cuddle-icious occasion.

Got to be all inclusive, right?

                                             

Believe it or not, Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays,

when solo, to decimate, when enamored, to celebrate.

So trust: I am givin' myself a swift kick in the derrière for the point-blank fire of this posting.

But I just made my plans this morning, and I'm going for it anyway.

If your still searching for some last-minute inspiration,

 lock your sites on this and put on your crafty 

pants quick!

Sweets for your Sweetheart

Clare Bare Lingerie

Silver Screen Starlet Pumps @ Plasticland

Sugar & Spice Aprons

Your mama may have told ya that the way to someone's heart is through their stomach,
but if you're wearing any of the above, cooking is officially optional to get the desired results.

beehive kitchenware

Kalorik Heart Waffle Maker @ Amazon

design 3000 Cookie Set for Two

Then again, the real thing never hurts your chances of making a heartfelt impression.

Sweeteeth Port Wine Caramel Sauce 

Whip something up and revel in the smiles caused by your confectionary genius. And if you have any left over frosting, no need to make more cookies. It's uses may come in handy elsewhere ;)

 

 The Serenadora

The Heart Tenor Ukulele by Celentano Woodworks

Even if you're not a professional, these are music to the eyes and will inspire the ears to follow suit.

Heart On Your Sleeve Dress @ Modcloth

Durango Crush Taupe Heart Cut-out Cowgirl Boots by Shepler's

Da'Love-Bomb-inatrix

Thought latex was played out?

Even the biggest stars beg to differ when it comes to the cutting edge elegance of designer 

Atsuko Kudo

Fuzzy handcuffs are a different story. Unless you're trying to recreate the rave era, they are way too played out for any self-respecting fashionista, 

even outside of the public eye.

Incoqnito Handcuffs in Black and Rose Gold

Now that's more like it!!

Black leather and rose gold bring the bling to the boudoir.

These mean business.

The Valentine's Day Massacre-ista 

All the single ladies: Put yo hands up and say,"Yeah, Yeah!!"

I've had plenty of single Valentine's days,

and I wish I could link you to my fav anti-valetine's shirt by She Bible.

Unfortunately it's out of production, but it was pink, with blood splatter and an axe on it,

and on the back it read, "Kiss my Axe."

It was glorious, but back to the here and now.

This may be a worthy substitute
for sharing your thoughts.
The most popular one-liner of all time:

Ana Linares It's Me Necklace

However, if you were on the receiving end of this prize piece,
you may be in need of some R&R.
Before your revenge and retribution,
let your mind settle with a solo spa day...

What's a massacre without a bloodbath? 

Blood Bath Set from CherryBox

The perfect combination of creepy and cute is sure to put an evil sneer on your face.

You can unwind in luxury fit for a queen. Or at least one iconic antagonistic countess.

Her name was Elizabeth Bathory. Ironic or no?

And then there's the "who needs a man" category:

Hustler Disco Stick Vibe

It's not the bird, it's not plain, and it is not Lady Gaga's new microphone.
I know, that last one surprised me, too.

If your imagination doesn't take you there, don't even try to peek into the territory of this next directory.
However, if you're over it, or you're into it,
or you just wanna call my bluff, the cards are on the table.
If you pick them up, that's in your hands, not mine.
And if you're under 18, you're sitting out for this round.

For the Bourgeoisie:

Coco De Mer

For the Ladies:

Toys in Babeland

For the Curious:

The Pleasure Chest

For the "Been there, done that, try harder":

JT's Stockroom

Proceed with caution, then go get some ice cream cake.
Happy V-Day to all the Love Birds and Birds of Prey out there!
XOXO

Baby, It's Cold... - Cozy Coats That Confront The Cold-Front

Winter is a-movin' up slowly,

and soon might just be creeping in to chill you to the bone.

Don't be caught uncovered! Cocoon yourself in some stylish gear that

will dissipate your desire to hibernate this coming winter.

In the usual style, shopping is best set to music, but fear not!!

Since being bombarded by Holiday elevator music is going to be your inevitable demise,

like every annual shopping season,

I am sparing you the "jingle bells" and "deck the halls" in this collection. Promise!

This is more of a chilly mix that might just warm you up by the time it's through.

If not, consider it an attribute to misery-loves-company. Shiver and chatter away
while these tracks sympathize with your severe lack of circulation:

                                        

Now, on with the anti-snow show: 

Partly Cloudy with Mild Winds

Anthracite - Jacket D Cream

James Long Cropped Leather Jacket

If the wind is kicking ever so slightly,

and all you're getting is a 

mild chill,

you don't need to bust out the heavy artillery.

Being bulky is never fun unless it's truly needed.

Light stylish jackets 

keep you just warm enough without restricting 

movement.

CryWolf Diamond Logo Zip-up Hoodie
Or keep it cute and casual with a cozy hoodie.

When the wind chill goes up a notch,
leather is a classic cold weather insulator, and looks bitchin' to boot:

Miss Selfridge Two Tone Leather Jacket and Tan Leather Biker Jacket

         If you're haunted by wearing hides, these are kick-ass veggie friendly alternatives:

,

Miss Selfridge Petites Berry PU Biker 

Tilly's INFAMOUS Ashley Womens Faux Leather Jacket 

For a festive flare,

pop it up with something shiny

or something

spiky.

Sequins and

electric pick

are sure to put a glimmer in the eye of the beholder.

Zadig Et Voltaire Jacket Veda Paillettes Deluxe - Marialia Pacitto Studded Trench Jacket

Overcast with Light Showers

 These combine function fashion and fierce,

keeping you nice and toasty, made from materials that won't spoil when lightly

sprinkled,

and imagine the shimmer of those spikes topped with a few dew drops.

ASOS Studded Collar Trench with PU Sleeves - ASOS Studded Shoulder Military Jacket

ASOS Quilted Duffle Jacket

For a heavier downpour, this should keep you nice and dry.

Keep your style fresh, and your skin dry in one fell swoop:

ASHLEY Hooded Jacket - FOX Hot Shot Hooded Jacket

These wind-breakers already have fun flavor, but the bright bursts of pink turn fun to fun-k rock candy!

And these two delightful

digs? Their classic timeless appeal may just outlive any one owner, no matter how young.

To be perfectly clear,

if you're looking for a good investment with not that much out of pocket in comparison,

these are your Veronica Lake and Audrey Hepburn 

reincarnate in robe form.

Standards like this never go out of style.

TOPSHOP Premium Trench Coat With Detachable Leather Collar

TOPSHOP Dogtooth Sleeve Duffle Coat

Gusty Winds with a Chance of Snow

Sweet and simple, you'll look like a proper lady out on the town,
snuggled up with your neck
decked in
fuzzy fur,
and a
skirted hem
that
accentuates your girlish figure. 

ASOS Fur Trim Fit and Flare Coat - Oasis Drop Wait Coat with Faux Fur Collar

But may I mention?: If you dare to wear them solo, you could be completely bare underneath, and no one would know-

unless you decide to put on a show.

However, girl-next-door is out of the question for fearless High Fashion Femmes:

Anthracite: Jacket Gold with Faux Fur Coat and Stripes, Jacket D Black with Faux Fur and Faux Leather, Jacket A White Faux Fur and Faux Leather

Break the material mold with any one of these avant garde anomalies.

 If you're craving the real deal on the fur front, accept no substitutes:

All Saints: Mures Sheepskin Jacket and Pasco Jacket

There is one reason to proceed with caution on these purchases:

They will cost you a pretty penny, so be weary of crowds lugging red paint.

Otherwise, bask in the warmth of your unapologetic luxury, and knowledge that you're top of the food chain, in several ways.

Miss Selfridge Brown Suede and Mongolian Coat

Want to go Lux, but skip the guilty conscience?

ASOS Snow Leopard Faux Fur Coat

Miss Selfridge Leather Effect Panel Faux Fur Coat - Warehouse Leopard Faux Fur Coat

Faux Fur has come a long way for it's unimpressive origin. Now it's so hard to tell, you might have to dodge some red paint without provocation.

 A classic wrap coat is a

staple for any

Fashionista's wardrobe.

It doesn't take much thought to pair up this piece, as it goes with everything.

Sleek and chic, with just enough edge,

this studded masterpiece will keep your style smoldering even when the wind tries to extinguish your

inner flame.

Warehouse Rib Collar Coat - Warehouse Collarless Studded Sleeve Coat

Want to make a stronger statement without sacrificing extra insulation?

Zadig Et Voltaire Parka Kimly

Hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

The sturdy cotton canvas exterior will hold up against most any challenge, 

but the rabbit fur lining will keep you snug as a snow bunny in a rug.

Come Rain Come Sleet Come Snow and Fog

If braving a blizzard is in your near future, maintain your fearless fighting spirit.

Now's the time to break out the heavy artillery if you want to be the 

warrior of running your daily errands.

Siberian tigers and Snow Leopard do not fear the cold with their luxurious pelts.

Emulate

their

ferocity in a mild mannered display

with this cuddly coat on the left.

In a torrential downpour, your ears may droop a little, but at least your real mane is well guarded.

ASOS Leopard Ears Parka - Penfield Hoosac Down Filled Padded Parka

And I'm a sucker for a nice fur-lined hood. Nothing quite measures up to being protected by fuzzy warmth around your face, especially when it's cold enough to make you feel frost-bitten.

Warehouse Luxury Hooded Coat

Lovin' these!

Be properly prepared for your battle against the elements:

Hoods, check.

Zippers, check.

Belts, check.

Impermeable layers of protection that maintain smokin' style, check check.

A veritable fortress against the elements, nothing's going to get to you unless you want it to. Except for the glares of jealousy these may inadvertently inspire. 

Warehouse Contrast Sleeve Parka - Warehouse Quilted Waxed Belted Coat

Zadig et Voltaire Parka Ketty

Now, don't forget to put yourself at the top of your shopping list before Black Friday engulfs us all in shopping insanity and evaporates our spending money completely.

If it helps, tell yourself that this is to your health!

How else are you going to guard yourself against the elements and keep yourself out of the doctor's office once cold and flu season hit??

Clearly, a new coat is not a frivolous buy, it is just an absolute necessity!

Devil's Advocate?! I have no idea what you're talking about!

;)