A Very Vintage Valentine's Mix + From Vanilla To Red Velvet To Dark Chocolate: I'm Not Talking About Cake

Guess what peeps?

I survived the most recent apocalypse, and though it may seem like I fell head first into the Bermuda Triangle, it's not far from the truth.

I'm right on the bottom corner, in fact. And I'm finding out Island Time is a very real thing.

Today I'm hoping the old saying, "Better late than never" still applies.

Happy Valentine's to all the world's migrating Love Birds!

Here's a mix to rock with your sweetie, or while you primp and powder.

Just for good measure, I didn't leave the Valentine's Day Massacre-istas out:

Skip the last song if your fire burns for your fella', or femme fatale,

'cause the last one is reserved for the furious foes of this cuddle-icious occasion.

Got to be all inclusive, right?

                                             

Believe it or not, Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays,

when solo, to decimate, when enamored, to celebrate.

So trust: I am givin' myself a swift kick in the derrière for the point-blank fire of this posting.

But I just made my plans this morning, and I'm going for it anyway.

If your still searching for some last-minute inspiration,

 lock your sites on this and put on your crafty 

pants quick!

Sweets for your Sweetheart

Clare Bare Lingerie

Silver Screen Starlet Pumps @ Plasticland

Sugar & Spice Aprons

Your mama may have told ya that the way to someone's heart is through their stomach,
but if you're wearing any of the above, cooking is officially optional to get the desired results.

beehive kitchenware

Kalorik Heart Waffle Maker @ Amazon

design 3000 Cookie Set for Two

Then again, the real thing never hurts your chances of making a heartfelt impression.

Sweeteeth Port Wine Caramel Sauce 

Whip something up and revel in the smiles caused by your confectionary genius. And if you have any left over frosting, no need to make more cookies. It's uses may come in handy elsewhere ;)

 

 The Serenadora

The Heart Tenor Ukulele by Celentano Woodworks

Even if you're not a professional, these are music to the eyes and will inspire the ears to follow suit.

Heart On Your Sleeve Dress @ Modcloth

Durango Crush Taupe Heart Cut-out Cowgirl Boots by Shepler's

Da'Love-Bomb-inatrix

Thought latex was played out?

Even the biggest stars beg to differ when it comes to the cutting edge elegance of designer 

Atsuko Kudo

Fuzzy handcuffs are a different story. Unless you're trying to recreate the rave era, they are way too played out for any self-respecting fashionista, 

even outside of the public eye.

Incoqnito Handcuffs in Black and Rose Gold

Now that's more like it!!

Black leather and rose gold bring the bling to the boudoir.

These mean business.

The Valentine's Day Massacre-ista 

All the single ladies: Put yo hands up and say,"Yeah, Yeah!!"

I've had plenty of single Valentine's days,

and I wish I could link you to my fav anti-valetine's shirt by She Bible.

Unfortunately it's out of production, but it was pink, with blood splatter and an axe on it,

and on the back it read, "Kiss my Axe."

It was glorious, but back to the here and now.

This may be a worthy substitute
for sharing your thoughts.
The most popular one-liner of all time:

Ana Linares It's Me Necklace

However, if you were on the receiving end of this prize piece,
you may be in need of some R&R.
Before your revenge and retribution,
let your mind settle with a solo spa day...

What's a massacre without a bloodbath? 

Blood Bath Set from CherryBox

The perfect combination of creepy and cute is sure to put an evil sneer on your face.

You can unwind in luxury fit for a queen. Or at least one iconic antagonistic countess.

Her name was Elizabeth Bathory. Ironic or no?

And then there's the "who needs a man" category:

Hustler Disco Stick Vibe

It's not the bird, it's not plain, and it is not Lady Gaga's new microphone.
I know, that last one surprised me, too.

If your imagination doesn't take you there, don't even try to peek into the territory of this next directory.
However, if you're over it, or you're into it,
or you just wanna call my bluff, the cards are on the table.
If you pick them up, that's in your hands, not mine.
And if you're under 18, you're sitting out for this round.

For the Bourgeoisie:

Coco De Mer

For the Ladies:

Toys in Babeland

For the Curious:

The Pleasure Chest

For the "Been there, done that, try harder":

JT's Stockroom

Proceed with caution, then go get some ice cream cake.
Happy V-Day to all the Love Birds and Birds of Prey out there!
XOXO